My Story: How my Lesbian Partner and I Make Our Relationship Last
Many people think that lesbian relationships don’t really last. There are all sorts of stereotypes about lesbians notoriously moving in together way too quickly, only to create a hotbed of drama before breaking up. But I’m here to tell you that that isn’t the case. My partner and I have been together for six years now, and even after all that time I am still ever grateful to have her in my life. Here are some of our secrets.
Do what feels right for you. Many people have preconceived notions about relationships and want to push them on you. Even though I’m writing relationship advice at this very minute, I don’t expect you to do exactly what I do! Every relationship is different and almost every rule can be broken. For instance, several months after we met, my girlfriend and I decided not only to move in together, but also to move from the West Coast to the East Coast together. People thought we were crazy. But it felt good to us and obviously it worked out. While it’s important to listen to the advice of your friends and family, it’s also important to follow your own instincts.
Trust is key. My girlfriend and I have been through a lot. And there have been situations where my trust in her was tested. There were times when I knew that lesser women would be accusing their partner’s of cheating. And there were other times when my partner and I have faced difficult times, but I trusted that our bond was strong enough to overcome all the problems around us. And I was right. Again, people questioned my sanity, but I knew in my heart that my partner loved me and wouldn’t do wrong by me.
Have your own life. No one likes neediness. In order to stay with someone for a long period of time, you need to have your separate lives. It’s great to do things together, and there are plenty of couples that may seem inseparable. But at the end of the day, you need to be able to let your partner go and do their own thing. My partner and I have things we always do together, but then we also have separate interests that we pursue alone. And while it’s great to share things and have things in common, I enjoy that time I spend away from her. But maybe that’s because it just makes the time we do spend together more meaningful.
Don’t fight. I’d be lying if I said my partner and I never fought. All couples fight. But have you ever noticed that some couples seem to fight as a form of recreation? That’s just not healthy. Sure, there are some things I wish my girlfriend didn’t do. But most of them are really unimportant. Why should I yell at her or get mad over nothing? Usually when I calmly tell her that something has upset me, she is pretty apologetic and then tries to be more considerate in the future. And likewise, when she tells me I did something wrong, usually I just want to say I’m sorry. Of course this isn’t always true, but I think if you look at what most unhappy couples fight about, 75 percent of the time the fights could be avoided easily.
