Gay rights are extremely important. Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people make up at least 10% of the population, if not more, and yet gays are still a minority that it is “okay” to hate out loud. We need to tell American society, as well as the American government that it is not okay to discriminate against gays. Over the past few decades many strides have been made in the gay rights movement, but there is still much more work to be done. If you are interested in standing up for what is right, here are some simple things you can do to become a gay rights activist.
Join a gay rights organization. There are plenty of national organizations that are devoted to gay rights. For instance PFLag, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays is a nationwide organization with groups in most major cities. If there isn’t a PFlag chapter near you, there is probably some other type of gay rights organization that you can join. If there is a gay and lesbian community center in your area, that may be a good place to start as well.
Read up on the issues. If you’re going to become politically active, it’s important that you have your facts straight. People will often try to confuse you with fake statistics and bogus facts. Read about the gay rights movement on the internet, and learn what rights gay people have and don’t have in your specific state.
Join a national gay task force. There are many gay tasks forces around the country that are actively fighting for gay rights. These organizations write letters and petitions to local government, and try to inform people of the injustices faced by gays and lesbians. And they always are in need of more people to help out.
Start a gay straight alliance. If you are in high school or college, you might want to try to start a gay straight alliance. These are great ways to unite gays and lesbians with straight people who believe in equal rights. Everyone should stand up for gay rights, not just gays.
Start a group in your church or temple. You may not know it, but there are gays and lesbians who are members of your congregation. Gay people are just as religious as straight people, even if some religions discriminate against homosexuals. All religions preach tolerance and acceptance, so make sure that your church or temple is no different.
Coming out is always a difficult situation for all of us. But even more difficult is trying to explain to your child that you are gay. Learning that their parent is gay can be very confusing for a child, and often it leads to anger. However, with a little bit of patience and understanding, you should be able to tell you child that you are gay that will ultimately lead in your child accepting you for who you are. In the end, it may even strengthen your relationship.
Explain what love is. It’s important to remember that children are used to what they see in their day-to-day lives and on TV. Your child probably doesn’t understand that love can be between any two people, and not just between a man and a woman. Explain to your child that there are many different types of couples, and that these couple all love each other the same way.
Let your child know that you love him/her. You never want your child to view your partner as a threat, or feel that your homosexuality is somehow going to get in the way of your parenting. Explain to your child that you love him or her, and let your child know that he or she is still extremely important to you. If your child feels like he or she is in competition with your partner, you’re going to be met with a lot of anger and negativity.
Expect that your child may be confused. Most likely, your child doesn’t know any other gay parents. Your child only knows the world that he or she has been exposed to, so anything different can be confusing. Your child knows that other children have a mother and a father, and therefore it might not make sense to your child that he or she would have a different type of family. Do not be frustrated with this confusion. It isn’t your child’s fault. Instead, try to offer positive reassurance and be comforting to your child.
Don’t avoid questions. Many parents make the mistake of not answering a child’s questions, thinking that some information is best left for grown-ups. It will be easier for your child to accept you if he or she can understand exactly what is going on. Try to explain things in very simple terms, and answer all of your child’s questions seriously.
Be patient. Your child may be angry, and really, they have a right to be. They live in a world where things like family and parents are always a certain way. It is unfair to expect them to accept such a drastic change immediately. Let your child vent their anger and frustration at the situation. Most likely, they are just upset that they are now going to be different from their friends. Explain to your child that all families are different, and that you can still be a happy loving family.
Let’s face it, gay or straight many people are grossed out by public displays of affection. And many couples, regardless of sexual orientation, do not know when to draw the line. So what is the problem with gay PDA then? Mostly, it is a problem of ignorance. Many people have a problem with same sex PDA that they would not be offended by if it were hetero PDA. However, it’s important for us gays to know what’s appropriate and when.
“I’m okay with gay people, I just don’t see why they have to flaunt it.” What is flaunting your gayness, anyway? Ok, maybe marching in a gay pride parade wearing a rainbow g-string would be an example of me flaunting my gayness, but that’s not what people mean when they say this ridiculously ignorant statement. What they’re really saying is that they have no problem with gay people as long as they never have to see or hear from a gay person. Well, that’s just great. We can exist as long as we are not seen or heard.
Acceptable PDA. Many gays and lesbians get nervous about holding hands in public. I say that is ridiculous! Children hold hands with their parents, and in many countries same sex friends hold hands walking down the street. There is nothing sexual about holding hands, therefore it is appropriate behavior in public. However, if you are walking alone down a darkened street in a notoriously homophobic area, you may want to refrain from hand holding.
Kissing in public. Kissing in public can vary from a peck on the cheek to an all out face sucking session. Not that I find sucking face to be objectionable, but I do think that if your kiss last longer than thirty seconds or so, it probably is bordering on inappropriate. Mostly because it leaves the people around you feeling a bit uncomfortable.
For gays and lesbians, the small act of exchanging a short kiss in public can be turned into a huge declaration of homosexuality. This is rather unfair, since straight people can share a quick kiss without having to think about it. A straight person can kiss their boyfriend or girlfriend on the lips as a way of saying hello or goodbye, without needing to take anyone else into consideration. So it is my feeling that gays and lesbians should have the same luxury.
Likewise, anything that might be considered over-the-top PDA when performed by straight people should probably be avoided by gays, unless you know you’re in a very gay-friendly environment.
The question about gays in the military is a confusing one. The idea behind Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell seems to be to allow gays in the military. And yet, although military officials are not allowed to ask if a service member is gay, if they find out about a service member being a homosexual, that service member will be discharged. So, are homosexuals allowed to serve in the military or not?
The answer is: yes and no.
For a long time, gay and lesbian activists were working to repeal the ban on homosexuals serving in the military, stating that such bans were discriminatory and unnecessary. Eventually, in 1993 President Bill Clinton created a sort of compromise, passing an Executive Order which is now commonly referred to as Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell forbids military officials from asking a service member if he or she is homosexual. While this is a great start and all, the problem is that once this gay or lesbian service member is enlisted, they can never be open about their sexuality. If anyone were to find out that he or she is gay, they will be discharged. So although gays and lesbians are technically “allowed” to be in the military, they are only allowed if they remain in the closet. They can never be honest about who they are, or share any information about their personal life that would reveal their sexual preference. In truth, they are being forced to lie to their fellow service members and hide who they are in order to remain in the military.
Gays and lesbians are still being discharged from the military. Even with this law in place, supposedly to protect the rights of gays and lesbians, many gays and lesbians are discharged from the military each year for their homosexuality. Since the times that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell went into effect over 10,000 service members have been discharged from the military for their homosexuality.
What’s the solution? The only way for gays and lesbians to truly be allowed to serve in the military is to revoke Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and to creating a law which prohibits discriminating against service members based on their sexuality. As it is now, gays and lesbians who are willing to give their lives for their country can only do so if they lie about who they are, and hide their personal lives from their fellow service members. This is a disgusting way to treat people who are offering to fight for their country, a country that will not even afford them equal rights.
1. Children need loving parents. Any psychologist or child care expert will agree that what is most important for children is to be loved and to be in a safe loving environment. There are many children out there who for whatever reason were given up by their biological parents. Obviously, it would be better for these children to be raised by two loving adults than to grow up living in an institution like an orphanage or foster home.
2. Gay parents don’t make gay children (and if they did, who cares?). Think about it … probably every gay person you have ever met in your entire life has been raised by straight people. How is that possible?! Duh, because homosexuality is not a learned behavior, and it certainly is not something you choose because of your parents’ sexual preferences. Everyone I know with a gay parent is straight, and every gay person I know was raised by straight parents. It makes no difference. You are who you are.
3. Straight parents aren’t perfect either. No one gets through childhood unscathed, no matter what the sexual orientation of their parents is. Sadly there is a certain percentage of children who have been beaten by their parents, or worse who have been sexually abused by a parent. These things are more common than we’d like to admit, and they often happen with good old fashion heterosexual biological parents.
4. Gay parents can provide for their children. What are the main functions of a parent? A parent must love their child and protect it from harm. They must provide it with food and clothes and shelter. They must take an active role in educating their child. These are all things gay parents are capable of.
5. Gay people make fine role models. Many believe that children need to be
around both men and woman in order to grow into well-rounded individuals. But really, don’t they just need to be exposed to different characteristics? Don’t they just need to learn that some people are strong and others are nurturing? That some people like sports and some people like books? Would anyone say that a straight man who isn’t tough and doesn’t watch football isn’t fit to raise a son?
Gay people are fine upstanding members of the community. We are doctors, lawyers, teachers, graphic designers, accountants, etc. There is no reason that we cannot teach children to be thinking, rational, ethical and compassionate members of society.
1. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Being gay is not a choice. Just like people don’t choose to be attracted to blondes or tall people or people with dimples. It just is. And while we can debate about whether or not being gay is wrong, the truth is that a person’s sexual orientation has no positive or negative effects on society. The only negativity that comes from sexual orientation is the negativity from conservative close-minded people who choose to discrimination and ignorance over acceptance.
2. Gay marriage harms no one. Except for unrequited love, where your love interest is marrying someone else, no one is ever harmed by the act of marriage. A loving couple getting married is simply a loving couple getting married. It cannot damage society, nor can it somehow be the cause of the breakdown of the American family. The people who are opposed to gay marriage will be completely unaffected by it if it were to be legalized. And yet, they are somehow given the power to make decisions for a group that they are not a part of.
3. Heterosexuals have been making a mockery of marriage for years. If marriage is so sacred, why do so many heterosexuals treat it so flippantly and with such disrespect? Britney Spears is allowed to get married for 55 hours, just for fun, but a loving gay couple who has been together for years cannot have their marriage license recognized by the federal government? If marriage is so sacred, then why do heterosexuals have shotgun weddings or drive through wedding chapels in Vegas? The divorce rate is currently about 50% in the United States; it’s so high that it is not uncommon to create a pre-nuptial agreement or other contract, foreseeing the inevitable demise of your oh-so-sacred bond. If you look at marriage historically, it would appear that heterosexuals are in no place to judge the ability of gays and lesbians to make lifelong commits to each other.
4. Children deserve a stable home. Just like the children of straight parents, the children of gay parents deserve to live in a stable home where the relationship of their parents is clearly defined. Not allowing gays to marry, only hurts the American family by creating ambiguity instead of allowing two loving people to create a strong home together.
5. Denying any group of people equal rights is always wrong. There is no other way to look at it. Marriage is a social contract between two adults and to say that certain adults are not allowed this right is discrimination. It doesn’t matter if some people believe that homosexuality is immoral, or some people feel that being gay is not in accordance with certain religions. The government does not have the right to discriminate against a group of people based on their personal lives.
