Now what? Gay Tips for Newbies
Congratulations, you’ve come out of the closet! But now what? There’s a big fabulous world out there, but as a newbie there are some things that you need to know:
- Take it slow. You’ve got all the time in the world. Sure, now that you’ve gotten your little gay feet wet, you just want to jump right in. Well slow down there partner! Of course you want to experience everything, but remember that there’s plenty of time. Stereotypically, newbies tend to be a bit … well … crazy. Don’t be that newbie! Don’t be that person who is trying to cram 15, 20, or 25 years of gayness into one weekend. Take you time, enjoy yourself. And for the love of Pete, try to stay out of trouble.
- Avoid serious relationships. It’s the same with almost anything in life, you don’t want to quickly jump into a relationship just when you’re starting out a new chapter in your life. You’ve been openly gay for all of five seconds, enjoy it. Figure out who you are and how you fit into the gay community. Don’t just rush into a relationship with the first person who gives you the time of day. Often, when newbies enter relationships, they have a bit of a “hero worship” problem with their partner, viewing them as someone who can do no wrong since they’ve been out of the closet longer and have more experience. Become your own person before you try to couple yourself with someone else.
- Protect yourself. You may be a newbie, but you’re not invincible. Just because it’s your first time, doesn’t mean it’s anyone else’s first time. Always use protection. Carry it around with you at all times. It may sound paranoid to say, but trust no one. You may not feel naive and innocent, but in many ways you are naive and innocent.
- Be smart and be safe. There are a lot of danger situations out there just waiting for you: drugs, cruising, drugs, group sex, and more drugs. Be mindful of your surroundings. Keep your wits about you, and avoid situations that can lead to (too much) trouble.
- Watch yourself. You may still be reeling with the feeling of freedom from coming out of the closet, but don’t forget that not everyone is as accepting of gays as your friends and family members. It’s a dangerous world out there and you need to be mindful of what it’s like to be out of the closet in the real world.
