Although gays and lesbians have gained a huge amount of public acceptance over the past couple of decades, there is still a long road ahead of us until we can truly achieve equality in this society. Gays and lesbians are still discriminated against every day: in the workplace, in schools, in the armed forces, in houses of worship, and worst of all, by our own elected government.
Too many people accept this status quo, assuming that “it is what it is” and nothing can be done about it. But this is the exact wrong attitude to take. Sure, there are people whose opinions will never be changed, but there are plenty of people who could easily be more open-minded if they just had a little more education and a little more exposure.
And that is where Storydigest.com comes into play. It is our goal at Storydigest.com to provide helpful and meaningful articles that cover the wide range of issues that face gays and lesbians today, including coming out, dating, relationships , family and marriage, general gay issues and our top favorite topic – Sex & Intimacy.
We also like to expose and educate others about what life as a homosexual is really like. At Storydigest.com, we hope that heterosexuals and homosexuals alike will find the content in this site to be useful and provocative, and we hope that we will spark productive debate as we examine topics related to homosexual life.
We welcome you to drop us a note, leave a comment and your point of view with the gay community.
Many people think that lesbian relationships don’t really last. There are all sorts of stereotypes about lesbians notoriously moving in together way too quickly, only to create a hotbed of drama before breaking up. But I’m here to tell you that that isn’t the case. My partner and I have been together for six years now, and even after all that time I am still ever grateful to have her in my life. Here are some of our secrets.
Do what feels right for you. Many people have preconceived notions about relationships and want to push them on you. Even though I’m writing relationship advice at this very minute, I don’t expect you to do exactly what I do! Every relationship is different and almost every rule can be broken. For instance, several months after we met, my girlfriend and I decided not only to move in together, but also to move from the West Coast to the East Coast together. People thought we were crazy. But it felt good to us and obviously it worked out. While it’s important to listen to the advice of your friends and family, it’s also important to follow your own instincts.
Trust is key. My girlfriend and I have been through a lot. And there have been situations where my trust in her was tested. There were times when I knew that lesser women would be accusing their partner’s of cheating. And there were other times when my partner and I have faced difficult times, but I trusted that our bond was strong enough to overcome all the problems around us. And I was right. Again, people questioned my sanity, but I knew in my heart that my partner loved me and wouldn’t do wrong by me.
Have your own life. No one likes neediness. In order to stay with someone for a long period of time, you need to have your separate lives. It’s great to do things together, and there are plenty of couples that may seem inseparable. But at the end of the day, you need to be able to let your partner go and do their own thing. My partner and I have things we always do together, but then we also have separate interests that we pursue alone. And while it’s great to share things and have things in common, I enjoy that time I spend away from her. But maybe that’s because it just makes the time we do spend together more meaningful.
Don’t fight. I’d be lying if I said my partner and I never fought. All couples fight. But have you ever noticed that some couples seem to fight as a form of recreation? That’s just not healthy. Sure, there are some things I wish my girlfriend didn’t do. But most of them are really unimportant. Why should I yell at her or get mad over nothing? Usually when I calmly tell her that something has upset me, she is pretty apologetic and then tries to be more considerate in the future. And likewise, when she tells me I did something wrong, usually I just want to say I’m sorry. Of course this isn’t always true, but I think if you look at what most unhappy couples fight about, 75 percent of the time the fights could be avoided easily.
The Stonewall was a small gay bar in New York City’s West Village that has become one of the most important landmark’s in gay rights history. About forty years ago the New York City gay community rioted against police brutality, and sparked the modern gay rights movement.
In the 1960s it was quite common for the police to raid New York City gay bars, for really no good reason at all. During the summer of 1969, the Stonewall in was raided by New York City police officers, but this time the gay community had decided that they had had enough.
While the police were raiding the bar, a crowd of over four hundred people gathered in the streets as the officers began arresting people from the bar at random.
The crowd eventually grew to be in the thousands, and soon the mob of gay people took to the streets chanting “gay power” and throwing bottles and trash cans.
The crowd, which eventually grew to an estimated 2000 strong, was fed up. Something about that night ignited years of anger at the way police treated gay people. Chants of “Gay Power!” echoed in the streets. Soon, beer bottles and trash cans were flying.
More police arrived, attempting to beat the crowd into submission, but the angry protesters continued to fight back.
The crowd didn’t disperse until about 4 am, but then the very next night the protestors returned. The group was ever larger than the night before. For several hours protestors rioted in the streets until a riot control squad was sent.
The following week over one thousand protesters returned to march on Christopher Street, and thus the gay civil rights movement began.
The Stonewall riots turned out to be a monumental moment in the gay rights movement. It united the gay community in New York City to fight against discrimination against gays and lesbians.
The next year, a special march was organized in honor of the Stonewall Riots and this time nearly 10,000 gays and lesbians were in attendance. This was the first ever Gay Pride Parade in New York City. Since that time, the Gay Pride Parade has been held every year.
Today, the Stonewall bar is still a very popular gay night club in New York City. The bar still occupies a part of the original Stonewall Inn, and attracts both locals andtourists alike who wish to pay tribute to this important gay rights landmark.
I always find it a bit baffling when I meet gays and lesbians who are religious. I for one do not want to have any part in a club that doesn’t want me as a member. However, the fact remains that many gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders do go to church or temple. How is this possible?
If God loves everyone, then God loves gays. Religions, specifically christianity, always tell you that God loves you. If there is a God, I find it hard to imagine that he or she would create homosexuals just so that annoying conservatives could point at them and scream about how we are an abomination. Just like I don’t believe that God put dinosaur bones in the ground just to test our faith in the story of Creation. If you are a good person, you are a good person. It doesn’t matter who you choose to love, just that you are able to love other human beings and show kindness to your fellow man.
Almost everything is a sin. If you were to look at modern life in comparison to what the bible preaches, you’d see that it is damned near impossible to live a life free of sin. The world is filled with jealousy and coveting and adultery. Ever steal a pen or a notepad from the office? Well maybe you’re going to hell. In reality, no one is perfect. No one is free from any sin. There’s only a throw-away line in the bible that could be interpreted as saying that homosexuality is a sin. But it’s a book that was written thousands of years ago and has been translated into hundreds of different languages. So who’s to say exactly what each line means. Just live your life and try to be a good person.
Not all religious institutions preach hate. The media is filled with images of religious zealots shouting to the heavens that “God hates fags” and that “all homos are going to hell.” Well, that may be a commonly held belief in some religions, but it is not necessarily a belief that is held by all religious people. For every religion there is, there are congregations that are liberal and accepting. If you want to go to a gay-friendly church or temple they can be found with a little bit of research. For example, Unitarian churches are notoriously liberal, as are many “Jewbu” synagogues. If you want to be a member of a religious organization, but without all the judgement and talk of hellfire, there are groups out there for you.
If you’re visiting merry old England, there’s certainly no shortage of gay bars in London. Whether you’re looking for a karaoke, a relaxing lounge, or an all night dance party, there’s something here for everyone. Soho has always been the most famous London neighborhood when it comes to the gay and lesbian scene, but there is now a growing gay LGBT scene in Vauxhall as well. In general, no matter where you are in London, there will be gay clubs.
Fire. Found under a railway arch in Vauxhall, this hot club hosts some of the biggest gay nights in London: awesome DJs, blasting sound systems, and crazy light shows.
Heaven. Near the Embankment stop, this three-floor club hosts crazy light shows and cheap student nights. There’s regular live music events as well as especially gay Heaven Saturday night.
Ruby Tuesdays. This laid-back lesbian bar is great for a relaxing mid-week hangout, when admission is free and the drinks are cheap. And there’s a chocolate fountain just waiting for girls to get up to no good.
Shadow Lounge. This upscale cocktail lounge in the heart of Soho is actually a members-only bar. Few tourists are willing to pay to 350 pound membership fee, but fear not … you can always register on the guest list in advance.
Blush. This lesbian bar/cafe has something to offer everyone – enormous beer garden, delicious Sunday roasts, and pub quiz nights. Located in Stoke Newington, it is the only lesbian bar in town, but it welcomes gay and straight customers alike.
Popstarz. This large club offers three different rooms of music. Indie rock fans can hang out in the Indie Ballroom, divas and queens can hang dance the night away under the Pop Arches, and the hipsters can get their groove on in the Motown Lounge.
G-Spot. This spot is just for the ladies. Situated in Covent Garden this spot is popular with lesbians and bisexuals gals to relax in a secluded booth or lay around in a large lounge bed. Open Wednesday through Saturday, they have two-for-one drink specials up until 8 pm. And on Thursdays there’s a special 3 pound menu.
Barcode Vauxhall. This Vauxhall brother bar to Barcode Soho, is a great pre-club venue, with two bars and of course a large dance floor. The clientele is varied from beards to beefy boys alike, all meeting up for a drink after work, or to get their weekend parties started.
If you’re traveling to New York City in hopes of finding some lively gay bars, you won’t be disappointed. New York City has a vibrant nightlife, both gay and straight, seven days a week. While a stroll through either the West Village or East Village will surely lead to you stumbling across many fabulous gay bars, here’s a list of some stellar stand-outs that are not to be missed.
Boots and Saddle – 76 Christopher St. Located in Greenwich Village, the gayest neighborhood in New York City, this club is open every day from noon to about 4 am. There are diffierent events each night including karaoke, 80s night, drag shows, etc. There’s no bad night to go to Boots and Saddle, especially from noon to 8 pm when they have $3 well drinks and beers for Happy Hour.
Therapy – 348 W. 52nd St. A trip to New York City isn’t complete without checking out the nightlife in Hell’s Kitchen. This large two-floor bar attracts a diverse gay crowd, and offers a variety of cocktails named after your favorite mental disorders. There’s free entertainment each night, including gay comedians, DJs, and open-mike nights.
9th Avenue Saloon – 656 9th Ave. One of the older gay clubs in Manhattan, the 9th Avenue Saloon has been around for over 30 years. They’re open daily from 11 am to 4 am, and offer happy hour specials on weekdays.
Eastern Bloc – 505 East 6th Street. The drinks are strong and cheap (at least by New York City standards), here at this communist themed gay bar which attracts many the bearded bear. The Wednesday night Good Times party is not to be missed.
XES Lounge – 147 West 24th Street. This bar has a little of everything: karaoke, cruising, and even the chance to catch up on some episodes of Desperate Housewives. Weeknights there’s a happy hour special where drinks are two-for-one until 9PM. And if the weather’s nice there’s a large patio outback to hang out with the smokers.
GYM Sports Bar – 167 8th Ave. Sports and gay bars might not be everyone’s favorite mix, but this is the one and only gay sports bar in New York City. There are comfortable couches, pool tables, and nine flat screen TVs showing sports from football to rodeo. And of course there are plenty of good-looking athletic types to chat with.
Henrietta Hudson – 438 Hudson Street. This bar has easily been the most popular lesbian bar for the past 20 years. Henrietta’s is a laid-back bar with a jukebox, a pool table, and a back room conducive to making all sorts of new friends. Wednesdays through Sundays get pretty packed with free bands and DJs.
Often gayness is just a phase. FALSE. Being gay is not like deciding you like the hotness new band or trying to eat more vegetables. It is not a conscious choice, nor is it a phase. Many gays and lesbians have tried to get therapy to “turn them straight,” but it is impossible. No one would accuse a heterosexual of “just going through a phase.”
Being gay is all about the sex. FALSE. Gays and lesbians are no more or less sexual than straight people. Being homosexual only means that you are attracted to, and have romantic feelings for, people of the same gender. There is no reason why gay people would be more sexually active, or more promiscuous, than straight people. Just like some straight people like to sleep around and others want to settle down, gay people have different wants and desires when it comes to relationships.
All gay men are feminine and all lesbians are butch. FALSE. The media likes to portray gays as over-the-top stereotypes, where gay men are whiny and effeminate while lesbians are butch and can easily be mistaken for men. This is not always the case. All people vary, and gay people come in all types. Not all straight men are macho football players, and not all straight women wear high heels and loads of makeup. Certainly, some gay men are feminine and some lesbians are a bit butch, but it varies with every person. It is unfair to assume that someone has to be a certain way just because of their gender.
Someone made them gay. FALSE. Studies have proven time and again that being gay has no direct relationship to your environment or how you were raised. Men aren’t gay because they spent too much time with their mother’s while they were growing up. Likewise, women don’t become lesbians because their father’s let them play sports. Also, there is no correlation to being gay and being sexually abused as a child. While being molested as a child certainly has its affects on people, turning someone gay is not one of them.
All gay people have AIDS/HIV. FALSE. About half of the population that is infected with AIDS or HIV is gay. The other half is comprised of heterosexuals. While the AIDS/HIV epidemic started mostly in the gay community, it has long since spread to the rest of society as a whole.
If you’re traveling to New York City in hopes of finding some lively gay bars, you won’t be disappointed. New York City has a vibrant nightlife, both gay and straight, seven days a week. While a stroll through either the West Village or East Village will surely lead to you stumbling across many fabulous gay bars, here’s a list of some stellar stand-outs that are not to be missed.
